Varida P&R had the exciting opportunity to interview the soon-to-be published alien author known as IXet SHono about (his/her/it) their new book.
Interviewer: Suzanne Hagelin, published April 1, 2017
Varida: Thank you so much for this opportunity! Um… should I call you “IXet”? or “SHono” or what do you prefer to be known by?
IXet: No. That is not reasonable. IXet SHono. For you, IXo…
Varida: IXo? Awesome! What a great nickname!
IXet: No. For you… you say…eh… ono yspek… Yes. Is good.
Varida: Ohh-kayy. Great! Tell me, if you would, Mr…Ms… Alien IXo, what was your first impression of Earth?
IXet: Suitable celestial body for… eh… word? Visit… colony… domination… vacation. One of these words is good.
Varida: I love your sense of humor! Ha, ha, ha! It’s a good thing you’re so friendly and agreeable or our readers might feel threatened. It’s a great place for a visit or a vacation. I believe those are the words you’re looking for.
IXet: Yes. (Tips of limbs quiver, i.e. alien laughter.)
Varida: Tell me about your book. We’re excited to have the worldwide rights to publish the FIRST EVER book by an alien in the history of the human race!
Varida: Uh… Why did you choose the title, “Human Sentients: Do They Reason”?
IXet: I also want to know this.
Varida: Of course, we are reasoning beings! That’s obvious! So, the question is, is this a humorous book? Or more of an exploration of earth culture and thought processes?
IXet: (after a long pause) I see.
Varida: You are a creature of few words, ha, ha…
IXet: Your words are insufficient for me. You request more for book?
Varida: More what? More words? Our editor is managing well with your content—and of course you will be permitted to proof it and comment.
Varida: I’m not sure I understand. Never mind about that. It’s not part of the interview.
IXet: Tsssono gold?
Varida: Welcome to Earth, we look forward to reading your book, IXet SHono!
IXet: Shhh… Peace-bava. IXet Ono thenk!
Varida: Thank you so much for spending time with us today!
Visitors to Suzanne Hagelin’s panel on ‘Inventing Language’ will pick up more clues about this post than most.